Morning ladies,
How was your weekend?
I’ll be honest -
My last 5 Mothers’ Days have been a HUGE mixture for me -
So my husband usually has a bit of a guessing game on his hands 😬.
Every single year I have wanted something slightly different - depending on the age of the kids, how much sleep I’ve had, and how I am feeling.
I’ve had:
Angry mother’s days, where I’ve REALLY needed a break (but haven’t actually told my partner this, so have just uselessly seethed. I don’t do this anymore 😂...)
Sad mother’s days, where I’ve been in total despair that the sheer exhaustion would never end 🤷♀️
Elated and joyfully happy mother’s days - where I’ve been so blissfully thankful for having my beautiful babies and am loving the age/stage of them 🥰
(And obviously I’ve felt all of these on the same day - as no doubt you have, too)
This year, more than previously I actually just wanted to spend time with the kids.
I am ‘missing’ them being little. When of course they still are. But I am more conscious than ever of time just tick, tick, ticking on.
(Btw, I’m telling you this to just let you know that however yours went, sending love 💜 - there’s no blueprint of what it ‘should’ be like. Contrary to what social media may show you.)
Anyway…
Let’s talk about Parenting Out Loud, and how it can help your career
It’s not my expression, it’s this guy’s. (Elliott Rae).
He has been my ONLY solo male guest on the podcast to date - because I was desperate to hear how his fatherhood had so clearly shaped, and then pivoted, his Returnity.
Elliott’s logic behind parenting out loud is clear: when we are more open about parenting, it’s more acceptable.
It makes it less stressful, or ‘shameful’ that yes, you ARE a mum/parent (as well as being [*insert career*] .
It then encourages other women, AND men, to share.
And when we share, we have more empathy that your colleague has also been up all night with a new baby. Or that the toddler has been having night terrors again. Or that your little one is finding school a tough transition.
And when leadership has more empathy or understanding of the fact that a massive bulk of the workforce are parents, we then perhaps start understanding why we need more support for, let’s say, flexible working.
And then perhaps you start a Parents Network.
…….And then, working mum life is a whoooooole lot less stressful.
See what we mean?
And this is all done through Parenting Out Loud.
3 Tips on how to Parent Out Loud
1. Be Transparent, be Communicative
Be transparent with your colleagues and bosses about your mumming duties and any potential diary clashes
Discuss your childcare commitments openly and try and position any chats with HR as ‘working together’ to find solutions that accommodate both your professional and family responsibilities
This makes them less likely to be on the defensive, building trust and understanding
2. Show Your Parental Skills as Strengths
This is your moment to OWN MOTHERHOOD.
I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again … Time management. Multitasking. Problem-solving. Empathy. Conflict resolution.
By reframing parenthood as an asset rather than a loss - you can showcase your unique strengths and contributions in the workplace (and encourage other mums and dads to do the same!)
3. Of course… Set Boundaries
Obviously, you have to fulfil your professional responsibilities. However, you can’t do this properly if you’re burnt out at home.
If you’ve gone part-time, check you’re actually working part-time - think about how to work your hours and days in a way that is sustainable
Start routines and rituals that help you disconnect when you're off the clock, whether it's getting straight into your pyjamas (I do this…) or planning a programme you’re going to watch, or having one night a week each that you do hobbies. These all massively help you to show up as your best self
It’s worth mentioning guys - it’s can feel a bit scary to be the trail blazer.
And that is what we are doing right now by talking about Returnity.
If you feel nervous, a parental / women’s network is a good place to start. Ask how to support each other to parent out loud.
Still stuck…?
Have a lovely week.
xxx
Letty